To Dane.

Awake! For Morning in the Bowl of Night

Has flung the Stone that puts the Stars to Flight.

And Lo! The Hunter of the East has caught

The Sultan's Turret in a Noose of Light.

Dreaming when Dawn's Left Hand was in the Sky

I heard a Voice within the Tavern cry,

"Awake, my little ones, and fill the Cup

Before Life's Liquor in its Cup be dry." 

- The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Our beloved Dane, who filled Life's cup to the brim and drank deeply, passed away this morning, in peace and love surrounded by his family.

Here's to a wonderful man who lived fully, in love, faith and service. 

We love you.

To Dane. 

Love is

Staying
Caring. .
Feeding.
Washing.
Wiping.
Holding.

Aging.
But staying.

Sad
But staying.

Stuck
But staying.

Feeding
Washing
Wiping
Holding
Aging
Stuck
Caring
And So So Sad
But staying to the end.

pal·li·ate

1 : to reduce the violence of (a disease); also : to ease (symptoms) without curing the underlying disease

2 : to cover by excuses and apologies

3 : to moderate the intensity of palliate

the boredom>

Examples of PALLIATE

1. treatments that can palliate the painful symptoms of the disease
2. palliate

your constant lying by claiming that everybody lies>

Origin of PALLIATE

Middle English, from Late Latin palliatus, past participle of palliare to cloak, conceal, from Latin pallium cloak

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/palliate

The process of palliative care is beginning for my father. Last time he was in hospital one of the doctors used the sentence "and if his condition worsens we will begin to palliate".

I had never heard it used as a verb before, the verb 'to palliate'.

What does that actually mean? These definitions don't cover my perception of its meaning. They don't say it out loud.

Does it mean making him comfortable as he slowly disappears,  as that grip on my hand slowly weakens and slips my grasp?

Does it mean cloaking and concealing the final stages of this long drawn out disease, which has locked and isolated my father in his body, losing one stage of function at a time, step by step, word by word over 13 years. This disease that has reduced him, physically, but made us blow up the memory of him to 'larger than life'.

There is  no cloaking, no concealing the outcome of this palliation.
We don't know how much longer we have with our father, maybe weeks? Maybe.

All we can do now is hold his hand to keep him company, as Mum and the carers make him comfortable.

We wait. 

We palliate.