Sunday, January 22, 2012


This summer has been incredible. Consistent days of heat and sunshine. This summer, the island has been paradise.

One down side of the heat has been the increase in the fly population. Our living room seems to host at least 6 or 7 of the dirty buggers at any one time. They are grossing me out.

We aren't big fans of fly spray so the Luthier went off and bought one of those electric fly busters. They had sold out of the prefered model which boasts a '2000 watt killing grid', as described on the interwebs, so he came home with the model that uses a light to attract the flying blighters to some green sticky stuff and emits an ultra-sonic repellent noise for insects of the crawling variety. We charged it up with high hopes of sticky, ultra sonic devastation and there was much Smith excitement when the blue light went on. We cruelly sat back to watch the massacre.

For quite a while the flies ignored the WMD, much to our disappointment. So a change of strategy was agreed and we moved it off the kitchen bench, to where the flies were congregating in the kiddy goop on the coffee table. Once again we sat back, watching expectantly.


Well, one fly did crawl on the thing momentarily, but happily buzzed on.

We were about to decide that the device was a complete waste of time and then something did happen, something revolting and unexpected. We gaped, gobsmacked, as the party of flies, all basking in the 'zapper's' blue glow, began to engage enthusiastically in some filthy fly shag fest right there on the coffee table.

So, instead of a highly effective fly demolisher, what we actually purchased, was the insect equivalent of mood lighting and wakka-wakka music for the randy fly swingers party going on in our living room.

So happy we could oblige. Do you think we could get them some little mojitos, a cabana covered grapefruit and a limbo stick to go with that?

Tomorrow we bring out the heavy artillery.


eve and the apple tree said...

Brilliant G!

Actually we were in the same boat whilst on the island, so much so that we actually bought that magnetic bug mesh that you hang over your days that they advertise on the telly. Tragic I know. Can't tell you the success rate however, they arrived the day we left again, but I have high hopes.

Tanya said...

I know the feeling. I tried those curly-hang-from-the-ceiling-sticky-fly-traps....Nadda! I even ran around the house like an idiot trying to get the flies "herded" towards their doom (my family still laugh about it to this day) and a couple even landed on the sticky strip....and then took off casually...I'm back to spray. sigh*

Trace said...

Ha, I hate flies! We bit the bullet and finally got screens installed, best $$$ I ever spent on the house.

Anonymous said...

Nasty. But also a relief to know it's not just us and our our dirty habits that attract the flies.

FWIT two things have really worked for us:
1. outside fly catchers, where you fill a drum with nasty green poison that smells like poo. We hung it waaay down the back yard where we couldn't smell it and the flies decreased substantially. Postive: it works; negative: smells like poo and someone has to clean out the bodies.

2. No shit, those 70s style streamers on the doors, that you walk through. Turns out our parents knew a thing or two. You can get expensive ones that are thick, plastic and transparent; you can also get ones that cost $4 and come in green, orange and white. Positive: cheap, seems to work; negative: every day is St Patricks day at our house.

Flies suck. But I know you will win in the end.

P.S: what's the heavy artillery?


Fer said...

Yep, kill the bastards!! :-)

My parents have trouble at their back door with flies, and hang those old style fly strips - seems to be the only thing that works!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Most discos have bouncers on the door these days .... perhaps you should put an ad in the paper for a very small one ?

Isis said...

ha ha ha ha ha .... lmfao (never thought i'd type that but now seems like a good time)

Angie said...

So here's my best fly-killing strategy to date....

wait until it has cooled off in the evening (or before it is warm in the morning), they all land on our ceiling, out the back door on the bricks, all over the light-fittings, etc.

get out your vacuum and just using the 'pole bit' suck them all up!

It works, the next day there are way less of the blighters. Such sweet revenge after watching them crawl over everything while I'm 'stuck' sitting down to breastfeed.

The downside is your neighbours may think you've lost your marbles if they spy you vacuuming the outside walls at 10pm.