Casual

Today I cease to be a permanent employee and become a casual employee.
This decision feels so right, I can't even begin to tell you.

I went to visit my Dad last night and, while he struggles to articulate, he made the effort to say to me "You have a business brain."
Lets hope so Dad. lets hope so.

This last week has seen family arrive from interstate and overseas, coming to see Dad after his fall and support Mum and be together. That is good.

I look at my neice and nephews and think again how time is really speeding past. A nephew we met as a boy is now a handsome young man.  The twin small boys are now school boys and world class minecraft experts. And Sophie cried when they left.

And my brother taught me about these, he has purchased a few.

Laugh?

I nearly ...

Still, even if its buying ostrich pillows that floats your boat, it really is too short not to live it just exaclty as you mean to.

Bonkers

"Do you think I've gone round the bend?"
"I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”
CS Lewis

This week has been quite a week.

School kicked off swimmingly, but my Dad has been 'in the wars' as old people are want to say. A bad fall, a fracture, a night in emergency. Too much time this week has been spent in shock and in hospital, but Dad is hanging tough.

Glimpses of mortality prompted a decision from me based on health and happiness and time to give my loved ones the love.
I resigned from my job.

Then I had a job interview for what I thought was a job I should want, but which successfully uncovered only one thing, that me and the job, were quite unsuitable for each other.

So I have decided to back myself and follow my heart and make work and life and home and love all plaited together, just like I have always dreamed.

It's risky. We have big obligations. But we also have big dreams.

After all, life is too short to be built on other people's views of what you should do and who you should be. You have to follow your own vocation and whims, even if others think you are 'off your chops'.

A friend once said to me 'You always think you can do things that you can't.' (I think she was watching too much Nemo). At first I was offended, but now I consider it a compliment.

Sensible has never been my forté.

I learnt that from the master, eh Dad?

Wow

Here they are on their first day, ready for school, more or less. I may or may not have been altering the hem of Soph's dress at 7am that morning. But hey, ... who cares? We made it.

First day of Prep, Grade 2 and Grade 6.

Really?

Sheesh.

People tell you that their childhood goes so fast, and you nod and smile, but you don't really get it. Not when you are chasing toddlers and carrying babies, with a thin stream of posset over your left shoulder, fretting about feeds and nappies and insufficient tummy-time. Not when motherhood has run off with your mind and time moves like molasses and you haven't slept for half a decade.

Not then. Not me. I didn't get it.

But now?
Now I get it.


Sometimes I wish we could freeze frame it and that we could move through time in slow-mo, Matrix-style, eking the guts and glory out of their childhood years, out of every moment. And then reality hits fast forward and I'm gasping for breathing space and panicking. 'Holy Crap! Next year my baby will be in high school!'

They may be big and bolshy these three, but they are still big babies on the inside. But who would hold them back or slow them down?

I'm just going to try and hit the pause button on the 'busy crap' every now and then, when I can. The gotta, shoulda, woulda inane fuss and mind chatter that gets in the way of all good things. That'll give me a chance to soak them up and dance with them before they are all cringey, self-conscious and teenage and get all 'Holy Crap! I can't believe my Mum is krumping again ... so embarrassing.'

Hope your first week back at school has been frantic, lovely and bittersweet.

May your nutritionally balanced lunch boxes always return home empty, may you never forget plain clothes day and may you ever be blessed with matching pairs of proper school socks.

Ready to Rumble

Whiney, irascible kids going to bed every night at 9pm and waking up at 8.30am. Check.
New school uniforms somewhere in the bedroom chaos. Check.
Mount Washmore erupting in the corner of the living room. Check.
Nothing in the fridge except weird, festy left overs. Check.
Luthier off on a long overdue, excellent boys weekend and, of course, I'm at work tomorrow.

Yes, we are looking good to becoming a well-oiled, getting-to-school machine by Tuesday morning.

The next 16 hours are going to be intense.