Friday, September 29, 2006

Beautiful Birth




















I just read Aunty Cookie's post about beauty treatments before birth. It left me speechless. Buth then I remembered the birth of my youngest son and it put the idea of a bikini wax and manicure prior to the joyous event even further into perspective.

With Sacha I was induced at two weeks over due. I was massive, tired and more than a little bit surly. I had not indulged in beauty treatments and even a vague attempt at a tidy up "downstairs' was fruitless as I hadn't seen that region of my body for months and was trying to deny its existence altogether, quite frankly, in light of what was about to happen to it.

Sacha's birth was fast. An epidural was falsely promised to shut me up. Completely nude, on all fours, swearing like a fish wife and primal screaming. And there was I, not even thinking about the comfort of everyone else in the room which would have been provided had I been waxed and manicured.

The head emerged and I heard a gurgling noise and the midwife cried out in an amused tone " Hey Phil, take a look at this!" Phil peered at the place where the gurgling was coming from to see a wild scene from a c-grade horror flick - a tiny disembodied gurgling head amidst a veritable gushing fountain of amniotic fluid which covered the room, the midwives and the floor.

The bubba then emerged quickly, fed, hugged. I got stitched up, showered and prepared myself to forget about the whole messy incident and to focus all my being on my new beloved baby.

Considering the presence of so much gushing bodily fluids, the midwife wiping my arse and everyone in the room getting to know my innards intimately, I can't believe I didn't think to be shaved down, perfumed, powdered and manicured for the event.

That would have kept my dignity intact.

4 comments:

Gillian said...

I fuckin just love it. . you rock lil G. Bless sane women who mention the fact that you are highly likely to shit all over the place when you give birth. . .ahmen. o and yes, spray the room with the good fluid (amniotic). Bring it orn.

Joanne said...

I always thought you left your dignity at the door when you enter the birthing suite??? May the truth be known!!!!!

daniela said...

oh, the visuals.!!
love: you know how to tell a yarn.
But look, look at that boy...OMG.

x

Lulu said...

Hahaha, well said.