This is a true story, at least as I remember it. It's a story I have often told after a few sherberts at a dinner party and the like, so I thought, what the hell, I'll share it with you. It may amuse.
The following details a conversation witnessed by me, the man who is now my husband (who can bear witness to the truth of the tale) and a few of my political science/women's studies student mates, in a cold, old uni share house in Battery Point, Hobart in the mid 90's.
The conversation occurred between Protagonist A and B, lets call them Cags and Donny- two laconic, slow-talkin' rural boys from the midlands of Tasmania, complete with navy jumpers, chambray shirts with the collars turned up, jeans (one of the boys is inexplicably wearing a pair of women's 501's) and R.M. Williams boots. Both boys are freshly returned from separate trips abroad. You know the sort of thing - the young person's 'rites of passage' style journey through Europe and the USA - complete with Kontiki tours and the like.
This conversation was the mutual summing up of the cultural journey and personal growth they experienced on their trip. Warning: It does contain swearing, and please be aware that the views expressed below are those of the protagonists and certainly not those of the blog author.
Cags - Did you go to America?
Donny - Yep.
Cags - Did you go to Universal Studios?
Donny - Yep ... ( long pause)
It was fucked.
Cags - Naaah, I loiked it.
Donny - Naaah, it was fucked.
Cags - Naah I loiked it.
Donny - Naah, it was fucked.
Cags - Yeah, it was fucked ...
(pause)
but I loiked it.
(They pause to regroup.)
Cags - Did you go to Europe?
Donny - Yeah. It was fucked. (He scoffs and goes on) If you wanna go somewhere f'ken borin', go to the Louvre.
Cags - What about Paris? Did you loike Paris?
Donny - Paris smells like human piss. Actually, the whole of Europe smells like human piss.
(long pause)
Except Greece ... she's alright Greece.