So where does the taking care of yourself start? This week. I've had quite a few people tell me that I need to take care of myself, so I am taking their advice.
I've accepted help from friends.
I've been to a counsellor who shared a superb piece of advice: to walk every day and while you walk, to fully engage your five senses - can you see ants on the path, birds in the trees? What can you smell? What does the air feel like on your skin, the earth under your feet? What sounds reach your ears? What can you taste in the air? This technique brings you out of your mind and into your body and lifts your spirit. It gives rest to your thinking brain.
I had a massage with hot stones - this had the same effect.
I went to see the movie 'About Time' with my wonderful luthier. I am a huge fan of Richard Curtis's writing and films and this gorgeous, insightful story did not let me down. In fact, it could've been written just for me, so perfect was its message for my life, right at this moment.
Pay attention, breathe it all in, see, smell, hear, touch and taste it and love every second of it, of this life we have, of this precious time we are given. Use your five senses to be in this moment. This one. Not that one tomorrow, or that shit one yesterday, or the dreamed up one that has never happened and possibly never will.
This one where I am lying on the deck with Kevin, barefoot in the sunshine, listening to the kids squabble on the trampoline.
I am working hard to quit my taskmaster and taking care of myself seems to do the trick.
I am here and I am enough.