Sunday, February 26, 2017


My dad knew he wanted to be a doctor from the age of 7. He just knew it. It was his vocation.

From that day in 1937, that little boy in short pants had a clear line of sight to his future. He preset his trajectory and took flight on his unwavering path.  At 70-something, he was recognised for working in General Practice for 40 years and was also known as an excellent general surgeon. He knew what he was, he pursued it, was good at it - he succeeded.

My envy of his clarity is intense.

My luthier is the same.  He is so good at what he does, it makes no sense for him to do anything else.

I currently find myself in an insecure work situaton and I can't decide if its a problem or an opportunity. I am kind of good at lots of things and interested in lots of things.  I just wish I had one thing I clearly excelled at, one clear vision ... instead its one foot in front of the other. And its a question of asking myself "What is the next obvious step?"

Midlife crisis? I wish. Its the same path I have been circling through for 25 years. When I was 21, I presented the same question to my Indian psychiatrist
"But what should I do?"  This was his response, a  metaphor: "Life is like a bazaar. There are lots of pretty things to distract you. But you must make it through to the end".

I am still lost in the bazaar, distracted by every sparkle and colour.

Here's to clarity.


ally said...

But the bazaar is so much fun!

Tanya Murray said...

As always, you are so eloquent and your words are so expressive and emotive. I identify with your sentiment and a lifetime of peer training also echoes and reinforces the idea that one should just "know" what one is born to be. But we are not alone, you and I. I think there are three distinct camps; 1) those who intrinsically know, 2) those who are skilled in many but mastering none specifically and 3) those who never aspire or rise to any occasion. I can't help but think our group is the most exciting and changeable. Would we wish it any other way? Sometimes maybe....

Occasional User said...

Well you're pretty good at writing.